3/4 Weeks
Weeks 3+4: Baby is the size of an apple seed
It all started with a night of karaoke. Songs were sang, drinks were had, the party continued until way too late in the night.
Fast forward a week and a half. I had an annual OB appointment on Monday- it's standard for them to perform a pregnancy test, which was negative. I ordered a Mirena (IUD). On Tuesday I came down with strep. At the doctor I was asked multiple times if there was a chance I could get pregnant and although I flashed back to singing What's Up by Four Non Blondes and waking up to checking my Glow App to realize it was ovulation day, I said no because my test had been negative the day before. And let's talk about some foreshadowing, as she showed me the positive strep test with the very faint line I commented on how it looked just like a pregnancy test and the doc and I shared a giggle. Then Wednesday morning the sky fell. I woke up and my boobs hurt and I just knew. Once everyone was out the door for school, I ran upstairs, took a test, saw the very faint like, screamed words I won't repeat here, then hopped in the shower and cried. I got out, took another test, and the line was there again.
I had about five minutes to figure out how to tell Mike. There was no way I could keep this a secret. Did I try to throw something cute together or do I just spill the beans? I chose the latter as this was not in our plan. He walked in and was on the phone so I just paced around anxiously. Once he hung up I blurted out, "Please don't be mad at me..." and he knew without me having to say it. I lost it and he comforted me. Soon though, his realization that every plan we had made was out the window hit him, and it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. And I get it. I feel it too. We were done with infants- the late nights, the spit up, the not knowing what they want. We had our lives back to date again, we were almost done with diapers, I had just gotten back in shape and was feeling confident in my skin. But, we'll figure it out together.
I think the best way to describe how I feel is that I feel everything- I feel confused, stupid, embarrassed, angry, excited, scared, curious, worried, and everything in between.
And do I feel like an awful mother for admitting those feelings? Of course I do, but it's real and it's honest and it's all I have right now.
How far along? 4 weeks
It all started with a night of karaoke. Songs were sang, drinks were had, the party continued until way too late in the night.
Fast forward a week and a half. I had an annual OB appointment on Monday- it's standard for them to perform a pregnancy test, which was negative. I ordered a Mirena (IUD). On Tuesday I came down with strep. At the doctor I was asked multiple times if there was a chance I could get pregnant and although I flashed back to singing What's Up by Four Non Blondes and waking up to checking my Glow App to realize it was ovulation day, I said no because my test had been negative the day before. And let's talk about some foreshadowing, as she showed me the positive strep test with the very faint line I commented on how it looked just like a pregnancy test and the doc and I shared a giggle. Then Wednesday morning the sky fell. I woke up and my boobs hurt and I just knew. Once everyone was out the door for school, I ran upstairs, took a test, saw the very faint like, screamed words I won't repeat here, then hopped in the shower and cried. I got out, took another test, and the line was there again.
I had about five minutes to figure out how to tell Mike. There was no way I could keep this a secret. Did I try to throw something cute together or do I just spill the beans? I chose the latter as this was not in our plan. He walked in and was on the phone so I just paced around anxiously. Once he hung up I blurted out, "Please don't be mad at me..." and he knew without me having to say it. I lost it and he comforted me. Soon though, his realization that every plan we had made was out the window hit him, and it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. And I get it. I feel it too. We were done with infants- the late nights, the spit up, the not knowing what they want. We had our lives back to date again, we were almost done with diapers, I had just gotten back in shape and was feeling confident in my skin. But, we'll figure it out together.
I think the best way to describe how I feel is that I feel everything- I feel confused, stupid, embarrassed, angry, excited, scared, curious, worried, and everything in between.
And do I feel like an awful mother for admitting those feelings? Of course I do, but it's real and it's honest and it's all I have right now.
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| 4 weeks / Porchfest 2019 |
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| Meet the fam! Mike, Harrison, + Harper. |
How far along? 4 weeks
Maternity clothes? Nope, I gave all of those away so I'm gonna need those back now...
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Not interrupted yet
Best moment(s) this week: Porchfest- our neighborhood hosts bands on front porches for the day and it's basically a huge party! My in laws came in town, and although I had to fake drink, it was still a blast.
Miss Anything? I don't know right now--maybe not feeling confused?
Movement: N/A
Food cravings: Nothing yet. I still have an appetite at the moment, so trying to eat while I can.
Anything making you queasy or sick: No
Gender: Thinking we may wait on this one...
Gender: Thinking we may wait on this one...
Labor Signs: N/A
Symptoms: Sore boobs, slight nausea, headaches, bloating, + occasional cramping.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I have no idea how I'm feeling.
Looking forward to: Figuring this out.
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